Preparation

This season of Advent has been full of anticipation and preparation for me. In some ways I have prepared for the trip through reading and attending required meetings but I believe my heart is woefully prepared for the things I am about to witness. The end of the semester was particularly challenging for me as in addition to finals and writing papers, I completed several non-seminary related projects. This placed thinking about our trip at the end of a long line of realities. I put the thought of traveling out of my mind and was able to avoid considering the impact this time in South Africa could have on our lives.

Last week I spent time with a friend, a mentor really, who has spent a lot of time in South Africa and is especially familiar with the events surrounding the end of apartheid and the role the church played in the effort. Knowing of my interests in this particular situation he shared with me his experience of being present for the first reading of the Belhar Confession (http://www.pcusa.org/theologyandworship/confession/belhar.pdf). At this point we both got emotional and he then told me to be careful because South Africa was a “terminal disease.” After the first trip people often can’t shake the experience and return again and again. This sounded exciting but then upon reflection, I found myself being a little intimidated by that piece of information. As a person discerning a call to ministry, the thought that I could possibly come away from the trip with this terminal disease and that I could only be cured by seeking a deeper understanding of the oppression and hope that has plagued South Africa well, that part frightens me. For now I will put these thoughts aside and focus on the immediate tasks.

I consider traveling exciting and a privilege. My husband and I are very fortunate to have many friends and family members who agreed that this trip would be good for our souls. I am honored by their belief that God is working in our lives. In the coming days, as I begin to pack, finish reading assignments, and review the news of the current political situation, I think I’ll feel more excited yet still apprehensive. The awareness of this incredible opportunity also contributes to my anxiety but I believe God is at work in these emotions and this situation.
My understanding of the reality in South Africa seems trivial when I look at current events in the country. It is with this fear and understanding that I go to God, ask for grace and trust that we are all in God’s hands. During the waiting of Advent, I found comfort in a piece of scripture. Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.”

This text speaks loudly to me in my own life but as I learn more about South Africa, I find it is also relevant to the situation in South Africa. Please keep these words in your heart as you pray for us and South Africa.